Embattled Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan Has Issued A Sarcastic Apology To Senate President Godswill Akpabio Through Her Social Media Platforms. In Her Post, Natasha, Who Is Currently At Odds With Akpabio After Accusing Him Of Sexual Harassment, Mockingly Asked For Forgiveness, Referring To Herself As A โStubborn Womanโ Who Mistakenly Believed That Her Seat In The Senate Was โEarned Through Elections, Not Erections.โ She Wrote;
โโSATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER
From The Desk Of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan
Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,
It Is With The Deepest Sarcasm And Utmost Theatrical Regret That I Tender This Apology For The Grievous Crime Of Possessing Dignity And Self-Respect In Your Most Exalted Presence. I Have Reflected Extensively On My Unforgivable Failure To Recognize That Legislative Success In Certain Quarters Is Apparently Not Earned Through Merit, But Through The Ancient Art Of Compliance โ Of The Very Personal Kind.
How Remiss Of Me Not To Understand That My Refusal To Indulge Yourโฆ โRequestsโ Was Not Merely A Personal Choice, But A Constitutional Violation Of The Unwritten Laws Of Certain Menโs Entitlement. Truly, I Must Apologize For Prioritizing Competence Over Capitulation, Vision Over Vanity, And The Peopleโs Mandate Over Private Dinners Behind Closed Doors.
I Now Realize The Catastrophic Consequences Of My Actions: Legislation Delayed, Tempers Flared, And The Tragic Bruising Of Egos So Large They Require Their Own Postcodes. For This Disruption To The Natural Order Of โQuid Pro Quo,โ I Bow My Head In Fictional Shame.
Please Find It In Your Magnanimous Heart โ Somewhere Buried Deep Beneath Layers Of Entitlement โ To Forgive This Stubborn Woman Who Mistakenly Believed That Her Seat In The Senate Was Earned Through Elections, Not Erections.
I Remain,
Yours In Eternal Resistance,
Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan
Unafraid, Unbought, And Unbrokenโ