Alhaja Risikat Ejide, the first wife of veteran actor and movie producer, Adebayo Salami aka Oga Bello has opened up on how she coped with his lust for women and his infidelity when they got married.
Opening up on the 45 years they have spent together in their marital home, her husband’s many children and more, Alhaja Risikat Ejide in a chat with Tunde Kelani TV started with how he ill treated her during the early days.
“Well, I met my husband in our primary school, Ansarudeen Primary School, Oke Popo, Lagos Island. Then we just knew each other as primary school students. My husband, Adebayo Salami used to be so full of himself. We used to call him “Oba” (King).
I don’t like any man that is so full of himself but I noticed that people loved him a lot. But I didn’t like him because of his attitude (laughs). We were all in primary school. So when he noticed that I didn’t like him, he used to give me a tough time too.
He was a Prefect so whenever I am found wanting, he had special ways of dealing with me. Whenever they say we should do our ablution and I didn’t do it, he will beat me. Whenever he beats me, I always go to his parents to report him.
So one day, I went there as usual and his father sent me away to stop coming to report him. As kids, I could go to his parents 3 times a week to report him. That was how I stopped reporting him. So after that scenario, he will beat me to stupor until we later became friends.
Well, despite all the things he was doing to me, I didn’t blink an eyelid. This is because I like him. I like him so much that everyone in his area knew that we shared an inseparable bond. Do you know that whenever I go there, I don’t always meet anyone? So I also won’t spend much time because they will be looking for me at home. I may now go and see him 10 times a day until I am tired.
On how she coped with his stardom, she said.
“Just like my husband said, when he became so popular, many women were frolicking around him. He couldn’t manage it. But my mum is a very tough person. I remember she told me that I can’t come back after marriage and marriage is all about endurance. So going home to tell her wasn’t a choice.
Then my immediate elder sister that was very close to me doesn’t have an enduring spirit like me. So I told myself that I will keep it to myself. I felt telling people or seeking advice may make people instigate me against him. I love my husband and I don’t want us to fight.
It took me many years for me to tell my parents that my husband has other wives.
They couldn’t do anything since I wasn’t complaining to them. I was also working and making good money. I also believe its destiny. So whenever I hear that he impregnated somebody, I don’t ask him, but sometimes he will tell people to beg me. He also formed the habit of running away whenever that happens.
I think he also saw that it was too much. This is why I didn’t have friends. I don’t want friends to tell me things that will make me fight my husband. So the last one he did and ran away; I had to tell his friends to help me look for him that I am not angry. I love my husband so much.
When asked if she ever got angry, she said “Angry, no, but as a human being sometimes it is painful. Sometimes I think about it but love won’t allow me get angry. I just tell myself, I have my own kids. I have boys and girls, what else? So I told myself, I will be patient with him and look after my children. While doing all that, my husband brought his other children for me to train and that was how I trained them.
Talking about his other wives, she said
“Oh! I have to accommodate them. I love my husband and anything he stands for. How many people do I want to fight? I am not saying it is not painful but what do I do? Let me shock you. There was a day I cried from morning till night but after that, I told myself, “why are you crying, you better stand up and make food for these poor children. Then we were staying at Atitebi in Ebute-Metta. Look at those kids now, you won’t even identify their individual mothers.
They love me so much. One should accept destiny and trust in God.
Oga Bello and some of his children She concluded by saying she will marry Oga Bello if she came back to the world again.
“Yes. My husband is so caring. Even if it is with my family or with his family. He loves me a lot and always shows it. He loves all his children to a fault. I have been living with my husband for over 4 decades and a day like this has never come. I thank God that a day like this is here. I thank God that our children are making us proud.”